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How I Managed to Preserve My Mental Health as an Expat, Founder, Mother, and Partner (Hint: It’s a Circus, but There’s Popcorn)

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Let’s be honest—being an expat, a founder, a mother, and a partner can feel like juggling flaming torches while riding a unicycle. Some days, I swear my life is a live-action comedy sketch. And for years, taking care of my mental health was like the final scene in that comedy—a total afterthought.

But, as we celebrate World Mental Health Day on October 10th, I’m here to share how I (mostly) managed to keep my sanity intact while wearing all these hats.

Spoiler: there’s no magic solution, but there is a simple coaching framework that helps me stay grounded, even when my living room looks like a tiny tornado blew through it.

The Framework That Saved My Sanity: “Shoulds,” “Have Tos,” and “Want Tos”

It’s simple, really. I divided my life into three categories: the things I should do, the things I have to do, and the things I want to do. This little system helped me recognize that not everything needed to be done right now—or even by me!

1. The ‘Shoulds’ – aka, The Annoying Tasks That Can Wait

These are the things you feel you should do but, let’s be real, can absolutely wait until you have the time or energy.

  • Tidying the living room – especially after my daughter’s latest art installation involving cushions, toys, and snacks.
  • Unpacking winter clothes – hello autumn, we meet again, but not so soon, please.
  • Responding to that endless stream of WhatsApp messages—because apparently, I’m popular in group chats I forgot existed. 😅

The trick? Ask yourself, “Do I really need to do this now?” 9 times out of 10, the answer is NO. And when I realized I didn’t need to stress about these ‘shoulds’ right away, my mental load lightened. These tasks can wait—there’s no urgency, no pressure. Let them rest for a day when I’m feeling like Superwoman.

2. The ‘Have Tos’ – aka, The Serious Stuff

These are the non-negotiable, life-must-function tasks.

  • Waking up and getting ready for work—definitely a have-to, no matter how cozy the bed feels.
  • Picking up the kids from school—fun fact: they frown upon leaving them there overnight.
  • Buying groceries and making meals—because “hangry” me is not someone you want to meet. Ever.

Once I narrowed down my ‘have tos,’ I realized something magical: I didn’t need to do them all alone! That was a big aha moment. I could delegate (or in some cases, plead for help). My partner could step in. I could delegate some work. Asking for help is not a failure—it’s crucial and necessary. And that – it is your damn right!

3. The ‘Want Tos’ – aka, The Cool Stuff That Keeps Me Sane

Now for the good part: the ‘want tos.’ These are the things I want to do because they bring me joy, re-energize me, and make me feel human again.

  • Taking a walk outside—my brain says thank you every time I step away from the screen.
  • Doing yoga or going for a run—because when I feel like I’m drowning in obligations, this brings me back to shore.
  • Savoring a slow lunch outdoors—still a “have to eat” moment, but much more enjoyable when I’m not rushing.

The ‘want tos’ are often the first to get pushed aside when life gets busy, but they are the most important for maintaining balance. For me, carving out time to do the things that energize me—like coaching, spending time with my family, or even just 10 minutes of yoga—has been a game changer.

How I Applied This Framework

1️⃣ Defining Boundaries I started by setting clear boundaries between my ‘shoulds’ and ‘have tos.’ For example, I asked my partner to handle the school pickups for a week so I could focus on a big project. I also accepted that I didn’t need to do everything myself—whether it was getting help with household chores or hiring professionals to support my business. Boundaries gave me breathing room to focus on what truly matters.

2️⃣ Making Time for ‘Want Tos’ Balance isn’t just about finishing tasks; it’s about doing things that recharge you. Even just 10 minutes for a walk or practicing yoga makes a difference. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about creating space for joy and recharging, like plugging in your phone before the battery hits 1%.

3️⃣ Letting Go of Guilt The toughest lesson? Letting go of the guilt that I should always have everything under control. Spoiler alert: the living room can be a mess, and the laundry can wait. I realized that taking time for myself isn’t selfish—it’s essential for my sanity and well-being.

Final Thoughts: Celebrate You!

This World Mental Health Day, I want to remind you that taking care of your mental health is not just another task on the to-do list—it’s the foundation that holds everything together. Whether you’re an expat, a professional, a mother, a partner, or all of the above, it’s okay to pause, breathe, and prioritize YOU.

Life may feel like a circus sometimes, but remember, you’re the ringmaster. And if you drop a ball or two, well… there’s always popcorn. 🎪 🍿

HAPPY WORLD MENTAL HEALTH DAY 🌍💚

#WorldMentalHealthDay#MentalHealthMatters#SelfCareIsNotSelfish#ExpatLife#WorkingMomLife#WorkLifeBalance #WorkLifeBalance #ShouldHaveToWantTo #CoachingMindset #SelfCare #NovellaCoaching&Training #PersonalGrowth#InvestInYourself#WomenSupportingWomen#WellbeingJourney

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